The day my life flipped upside down

I met Him at her wedding. He was the best man. I was there as a plus one to someone in the wedding. I had no interest in Him that day. I knew who He was, but I didn't know Him. He was the older brother of a guy I went to school with.

Six months goes by and I was now single and best friends with the bride from the wedding. He was home on leave from the military. She set us up to meet at the local bar/dance club. I saw Him when He walked in and I knew in my soul that He was mine. He was the one I wanted to grow old with. We spent 10 days together over Christmas until He needed to go back to the base on the opposite side of the country. Two days after He left I asked him to marry me on one of our many calls since He had left. Two months later we were married. In less than two months it will be 19 years we've been married. Just a few weeks after our our 19 year anniversary our divorce will be final. It was a good marriage. We had 3 beautiful girls over the years. One who passed away almost 10 years ago this coming fall. We survived losing a child. We survived almost being bankrupt. We survived a home renovation. We survived him being an alcoholic. What we didn't survive was Her...

Our marriage wasn't perfect, but it was good. We were on a typical up and down with things. I had no idea things were tragically bad. See, He is an introvert. Getting almost any kind of emotion or feelings out of Him is virtually impossible. In June of 2018 we have a huge breakthrough. He opens up and pours out His heart to me. He tells me that I could never understand the depth of His love for me. That He loves me more than anything else in the world. I felt like we were getting back on a high point of marriage. We were making progress. If He was opening up to me then things were going to be okay. Maybe He was going to stop drinking so much. Maybe....

The summer was going great. We were laughing more. We were having more fun. We were hanging out with our best friend and Her family more. All the time. Dinners, bbq's, vacations, movies, bonfires. The list goes on and on. It was like the old days before everyone started having kids and getting caught up in work and the every day grind.  

Life was good. Until I walked into the barn on a Tuesday night in late July of 2018 and caught Him with Her. The older child was gone for the night. The younger one was in the house sleeping. Everyone else that was there earlier had since gone home. I was seeing black spots because I couldn't breath after what I saw. I couldn't believe what I had saw..... He was with Her.  

They claimed they just fell into it...... Because falling into it causes the lights to be turned out, the door to be locked, and clothes to fall off...... I suppose it can when you're both 3 sheets to the wind. I'm talking so drunk that being caught cheating on your spouses didn't sober either one of them up. It was an excuse. I didn't buy it. It was all bullshit. He tried to take all the blame. Said that He forced Himself on Her. I didn't buy it. She's an adult the same a He is. They were/are both equally responsible for their own actions.

After I went to their asses for 30 minutes like they were kids who fucked up I asked Her if she needed to call for a ride or was She good to drive. She said She was okay. I knew She wasn't but I didn't care this time. I told them I was done, that I was going inside. I told Her to get the fuck off my property and to never come back. I then proceeded to go inside and try to shower the filth off of me. I knew I wasn't filthy but I felt filthy. He was a couple of minutes behind me. He tried to tell me He was sorry, that He didn't know what happened. After I got out of the shower He took one because I wouldn't let Him touch me because He was dirty. I went to bed. I didn't know what else to do. I had my 13 year old sleeping and didn't want to wake her. He came to bed a few minutes later and proceeded to pass out cold and snore the whole night. My life is fucking ruined and he's snoring away......